Seven benefits of being melanin-light

1. You're less likely to be a sun worshipper, so more likely to avoid its ageing effects. Tanning addicts develop a nasty leathery look at a certain age.

2. You glow in the dark. No one will ever lose you in bed.

3. You probably see better in the dark too. The paler the eye the more you'll squint in bright light, but the flipside is seeing well in dim light.

4. You show arousal more vividly, spurring lovers to greater heights. Pale is more interesting.

5. You stand out in a crowd and get served faster at crowded shop counters.

6. Unwanted body hair is paler, so you can get away with less waxing/plucking/shaving.

7. Grey hair doesn't show as easily, and may never overwhelm you. My red-haired grandfathers went sandy, not grey.

So you don't like Heathcliff?

A writer friend once told me that you can tell a lot about a woman's romantic nature by asking which classic she prefers -- Wuthering Heights or Pride and Prejudice. In her opinion WH types are inclined towards bad boys like Heathcliff, whereas P&P types make more sensible choices.

That's spot on as far as I'm concerned. I find Heathcliff incredibly sexy. Sure, he's vile and vengeful, but he's one of the most original and fascinating bad boys in literature. He's dark and sensual. He's wild and passionate. He's the ultimate 'harden the fuck up' hero who doesn't suffer spoiled, insipid fools.

But am I the only one who gets him?

Film characterisations are usually woeful. OK Tom Hardy did a pretty good job in the recent ITV mini-series, even though he doesn't look dark enough for a gypsy. But most actors fall well short of Heathcliff's darkly complex mark. They're often kinda namby-pamby. Urgh.

What disappoints me more, though, is the fact that young fans of the book leave messages on the web wailing about what a monster Heathcliff is. OMG. They're outraged at the way he treated Isabella. They can't understand why he keeps pining for a woman who married another man. They think Edgar Linton's a better deal anyhow.

What's the matter with WH types of today? Are they really Twilight types who like their bad boys pretty and girly? Urgh.

I've got my own Heathcliff at home, thank you very much, but I'd love to see Emily Bronte's done justice on the screen.

What tarot cards reveal

Tarot cards can only predict a person's future to the extent that people make things happen because of their mindset. As a self-taught amateur reader, I always caution the questioner, "I won't be able to tell you about objective, inevitable truth, only what will happen if you keep thinking the way you do now". That's mighty powerful stuff nevertheless. Depending on the questioner's openness and the reader's insight, the revelations can range from ho-hum to deeply moving. I've seen all sorts of secrets come to the surface, and tears often spring when I present the story.

But how does it work? How can a sane, intelligent person give any credence at all to this stuff? I think of tarot the same way I think of time-tested gems of philosophy, poetry, psychology and mythology. It's steeped in ancient wisdom. The cards depict an incredibly rich and intricate view of who we are and how we interact and progress through life. When the questioner shuffles the classic order of the cards, he/she is transferring his/her state of the mind to the universal canvas. The more passionate and specific the question, and the more trusting the questioner, the more the reader will be able to divine from the spread.

At the very least, the cards provide an entertaining framework for discussing issues. At best, they spark inspired reflection.

Red-haired goths

The lead character in my book-in-progress, Chloe, was a goth in her late teens. For the flashbacks to this phase, I've been trying to pin down how she would have related to the Brisbane goth scene in the late 80s if she chose to keep her red hair -- maybe with some purple streaks. Could she have been credible?

One of my research tactics was to google 'redhead goth'. After 20 pages of nothing but porn sites, I was reeling. WTF! So then I googled 'blonde goth' for comparison. The results were far more innocent. Mostly girly hair and makeup advice, with only a peppering of porn.

I don't know why I was surprised. Redheads are stereotyped, rightly or wrongly, as passionate, lustful and feisty. Throw in the dark, disaffected, demonic stereotype of goths, and you've got a marketable fantasy it seems.

Anyway, I'm thinking Chloe wouldn't have dyed her hair black, no matter what others thought. She's not a slave to anything or anyone.

Do redheads fancy each other?

Lately I’ve been trawling through redhead social networking sites to reality check the outrageous generalisations I hold dear about our subset. There’s so much to say, but for now I want to concentrate on one issue: do we fancy each other?

Some men seem shocked that fellow fanta-pants can resist their charms or even go urgh / eeww / yuk at the prospect of getting it off together.

Based on my extensive pop psych readings and chick chat, here’s the lowdown. People tend to learn how to be themselves from their same-sex parent and how to relate to the opposite sex from their o-s one. So, more than we care to admit, gals tend to go for men who resemble their dads, unless of course they had such a bad relationship that they try to avoid that type like the plague. The resemblance doesn’t have to be physical, but it often is.

Take me for instance. My father had black hair and hazel eyes. Guess what? This is my type. I appreciate red-haired men aesthetically, and gravitate to them as pals, but have always been repulsed by the idea of sex. It would be like doing it with my brother, bizarre as that might seem, because my actual brother has brown hair. It’s never been an issue, though. Gingers have rarely made a move on me.

But – and here’s a lifetime insight – the fireworks really only happen when I happen to be the type for my type. The love of my life is a dark-haired, hazel-eyed man who prefers redheads. His mother wasn’t a redhead, but she was freckled and the gene is in his family.

Now if all this sounds loopy or creepy to you, guys, I’m not surprised. But if you happen to fancy redheads, try asking this question early in the chat-up phase – “Where does your colouring come from? Your mum or your dad?” If her dad’s a redhead, I’ll bet you you’ve got a much better chance of getting somewhere.